LEST WE FORGET...........the prelude

It was in the summer of 2010 and as usual, i was at the popular news stand in Kumasi, Ghana to fulfil my "lustful" longing  for political literature in Pan-African monthlies like Africawatch, New African and the like.There was something unusual however about this day. As i was searching, i chanced upon  this autobiography that was to affect my life immensely. It was Koffi Addo's A Village Boy's Dream. A Will To Succeed. The man who had earlier on stunned us with his classic piece, at least in my candid opinion, LETTERS TO A SON: GUIDEPOSTS TO MORALITY had done it again.
 What makes his autobiography seem of special interest to me is the fact that like him, I am also a 'village boy' with a strong will to succeed and leave an indelible mark in the annals of history. Like him, academic excellence and discipline in the early years of life had seen me enter the best secondary school in Ghana at my time and experiences in various leadership positions and student activism would translate into huge advantages during the pursuance of higher education beyond the shores of my beloved Ghana.Another area of  similarity is our seeming political inclinations, not in partisan lines, but the will to see the ruling elite deliver in the best interest of the people while seizing the opportunity to in our own small way resist any form of oppression and wrongdoing on the part of those who wield political and administrative power. The biggest and the most important difference between the two of us however, is that his story is a complete one told by a master storyteller while mine is one that i have only started writing in that i am only in my early years in medical school. This article will be the first in a series that seeks to remind my readers that it is always good to live our life in view of where we are coming from.
This write-up will however not focus on any of our differences or similarities but pose a simple question and in my quest to attempt an answer, throw much light on what i think most Africans privileged to obtain quality  higher education whether in Africa, Europe and the Americas do easily forget. .. where we are coming from. Everyone has an aim and a target in life to achieve.Whatever it is, it remains the yardstick against which you measure your progress and success in life, the pursuant of which many a time leads us to forgetting our roots and staying with the people in our new social  class.That Africa is a rich but poor continent is no issue for debate. Although it happens mostly that a privileged section of the people of this continent live 'decent' lives, here i choose my words advisedly and in the broader sense of the word, the African story is full of people who rose from obscurity to national and continental heroism not only in politics and governance but in the areas of education, health, religion business and the honourable field of advocacy for the voiceless and powerless. That is for the history books to elaborate.
My focus here will be on the 21st century African who is privileged either by fate, inheritance, hard work or  accident  to rise above the 'odinary' citizen, his relationship with the lesser society and his contribution to the success or demise of others. Our world today is shaped by the complex forces of globalisation, technology, powerful media and what psychologists call ''the century of the self''. This makes it easy to blend with the 'world' and easily forget our roots. Like many people out there, i am a 'village' boy whose parents and family had to rise from the village to face the world. Their sacrifices and personal decisions in life has invariably decided the current path my life is taking. Chances are that had they decided to forget where they were coming from and turned themselves into fashion fanatics, indulged in immorality and despised their culture in the name of modernisation, i would not have benefited from their personal successes and failures. Any time i have the chance to speak with my family in the village, it reminds me of what Lt. Col Opuni - Mensah always used to tell me, that if God grants you the opportunity of a successful life, He does it not for you, but for the numerous people who are supposed to benefit from what He has given you and the unborn  generations who will reap the fruits of your labour. I do not suggest here that i am successful, no. This assertion is based on the rather reasonable assumption the education is the foundation for all forms of success, whatever the area of education it is. I therefore look on educated people as potential successes in life. Whenever i look into the eyes of my village folk, eyes filled with ambition, a passion to make it in life in the face of all these hardships, eyes filled with hope for a brighter day, it reminds me of the moral duty that awaits those of us who have the privilege of good education. I am reminded of where i am coming from and the need to make the best use of opportunities available to me today so i can help others tomorrow.The mere benefit of higher education places us on a certain pedestal in our traditional social structure. We have a moral obligation to affect positively the lives of the 'ordinary' people and this we can only do if we are mindful of where we are coming from.
Not only that. Knowing very well the sacrifices our parents and guardians make to provide us with education, it is only wise to make good the debt we owe them and future generations by learning hard and shunning all forms of wastefulness and invest our time in relevant and productive activities. The 21st century African is gradually losing his sense of identity. This spells doom not only for himself, but the entire continent. In pre-independence times, Africans abroad were very conscious of their homeland and most of them had to return to help in the independence struggle. Today, there are no colonial forces to fight, although some will argue for the existence of neo-colonialism. We only have poverty,corruption, disease, hunger and ignorance to fight. Among these, ignorance, for me, ranks highest. The masses are suffering just for the mere absence or lack of knowledge. Ruthless, selfish, greedy and insensitive politicians will continue to impoverish our people and add to their woes so long as the masses remain ignorant. Sometimes it saddens my heart how people who are privileged to gain a little education begin to distant themselves from their families because they are "primitive", archaic and therefore feels ashamed to associate themselves with such a class of people considering the level of education he/she has. How pitiful it is! If those who have the benefit of good education fail to positively affect the lives of the uneducated, we make nonsense of education.
Except you wish to tell me that you are irresponsible. But every educated African has a moral duty to his continent and we can't afford to fail ourselves and future generations. What have you done to help your people with the education you have or the many privileges and opportunities open to you? Have you sincerely felt embarrassed when you see our people fighting and killing themselves over very trivial issues? How do you feel when people remain in abject poverty just for the mere fact they lack the knowledge to help themselves out?..........................this is just the a prelude to more articles in the waiting. Start thinking about how you can help. Don't forget where you are coming from.
.......................................to be continued.

BE HEARTY IN APPROBATION AND LAVISH IN PRAISE

People will forget most of the things you said or did for them, but one thing is sure. They will never forget how you made them feel.


Life is a journey. There is always a starting point and a final destination. Although we all have a common starting point, the final destination is a matter of personal choice. Whatever your aim in life may be, wherever you want to finally be, one question is sure to be asked,..............HOW DO I GET THERE? .........and of the many ways to get there, one thing is certain and any attempt to  do without it will mean that you stay at the starting point and never make any advancement.
Of all the many things that will take us to our final destination in this life's journey, i want to single out one for the purpose of this context...........RELATIONSHIPS.
Relationships are the vehicles that transport us to wherever we wish to go in life and helps us in whatever we wish to do in life.It remains a moral obligation therefore to make the right choices and do everything possible to maintain the right relationships if at all we can't create new ones. There are three (3) main forms of relationships in my candid opinion.


Relationship with God
Relationship with Nature
Relationship with Fellow Humans


All these relationships are the sine qua nons of every meaningful life experience, yet we all know by prima facie that relationships or interactions with fellow men engage us more than any of the other forms. It will therefore be suicidal to ignore the people who matter in our lives or severe ties that we have built with family and friends over the years only to regret later.
In our day - to - day interactions with fellow men, we realise there we are dealing with a complex of emotions and characters. Everybody yearns to be loved, cared for, appreciated and encouraged. We have internalised the basic emotions of love, fear, anger, jealousy etc.
We all have shortcomings in contrast with the special gifts and abilities that make us unique.
The fact that we are emotional beings makes us a bit selfish, the exhibition of which exposes us to offending others and being offended by others as well. This makes it difficult to reconcile our egos with that of others, because it is the root of many problems in relationships.
Have you not observed that in attempting to right the wrongs of others, we sometimes end up worsening the situation? Could it be the approach we use?
Every human is in a way defensive. This defensive nature of ours makes us hostile to condemnation and correction because we tend to justify every action of ours even though we are wrong to avoid shame. It makes it difficult therefore to correct others of their wrongdoings when we also have our bad sides,which may even be worse than what we condemn. Most relationships are ruined today because because of what i term crisis management.
Psychologists have discovered many ways of maintaining relationships and even winning new friends over. But Dale Carnegie summed most of them up in one sentence .....................Be hearty in approbation and lavish in praise.
Whenever we are dealing with the wrongs of others or trying to correct them, let us not be tempted to condemn. It is more adviceable to start with approbation or praise. By so doing, you break the person's natural defenses and establish a peaceful connection with the heart that causes them to give you not only their attention but respect and love as well.
Instead of shouting......."I hate that your attitude towards the opposite sex, you always disgrace me with your show of arrogance whenever i am with you in the midst of others". Why not calmly call the person to a table, offer a cup of tea and tell him/her........"You know sometbing? i like your composure and ego very well. Sometimes i wish i were as confident as you are. Its very good to be confident because it expresses an inner acceptance of who you are. My only problem is that people may wrongly interpret it as arrogance. I will advice that you tone it down a bit to avoid being  misunderstood"
Which of the approaches do you think will yield results while at the same time strengthening the relationship? I strongly believe it is the latter. The former approach will not only fail to achieve its purpose, but will also go a long way to severe the relationship.
Let us not be too quick to condemn. Let us appreciate others for who they are and correct them in love. If you can't build new relationships, please try as much as possible to strengthen the few you already have but not to weaken or destroy them. Relationships are as equally important as talent and skill, riches and fame. Never turn away the people who love you. Beware of your actions.
You are not perfect,............and it is only stupid to expect others to be.
Keep strengthening your relationships and endeavour to build new ones and you will be surprised how far you can go in life.
...................................be hearty in approbation and lavish in praise

THE LOVE THAT NEVER WAS...............PART 2

In my earlier blog, i asked a very compelling question...........WHERE DID OUR LOVE GO?.. This question was asked based on several observations i have made concerning the extent to which our world has been affected by non - existent love in the family, friendships and all sorts of social  human relations. There is no denying the fact that LOVE is the single dose the master physician, GOD ALMIGHTY has prescribed for a world that has wandered far from the truth upon which the foundations of this world was laid, and thus been led away from the path that leads to happiness. Our loving Creator made a perfect universe and placed man at the head of all His creation to have dominion over all that He had created. This planet was designed with love and is in itself an expression of love. 

                                  

     "God made man perfectly holy and happy; and the fair earth, as it came from the Creator's heart

bore no blight of decay or shadow of the curse. It is transgression of God's law--the law of love that

has brought woe and death. Yet even amid the suffering that results from sin, God's love is revealed. It is written that God cursed the ground for man's sake. Genesis 3:17. The thorn and the thistle--the

difficulties and trials that make his life one of toil and care--were appointed for his good as a part of the training needful in God's plan for his uplifting from the ruin and degradation that sin has wrought"

                                                                            ELLEN G. WHITE

                                                           STEPS TO CHRIST.................page 10

Man lost the love and reverence he had for God, thus leading to disobedience. It was love that brought Jesus down to pay the ultimate price for our sins, and revealed the loving nature of God to us, that in his sacrifice, we will see the manifestation of love. This same Jesus, when asked what was the greatest commandment, retorted.......LOVE for God and fellow man.

So one would want to ask again where did our love go? Well, it is not the intent of this piece to provide an answer. I ask again with the aim of arousing your conscience to an even more critical question. Where did your love go?

Maybe you might want to go show some love to your friends, family and neighbours. You might also want to reconnect with God, the source of all true love. Maybe by this way, we will be making headways as regards making our own small world exhibit a radiance of love that will infect everybody around us.................................................................................................................................to be continued

THE LOVE THAT NEVER WAS

I must admit that am no romantic man. My viewpoint of love has always been from a philosophical and psychological perspective. Love is just one of the complex emotions of man and should it have truly existed, this world of ours will be one free of troubles and pain.

We all claim to love and expect same in return. Religion has time and again told us that love is the answer to all our problems. Jesus Christ summed up all the biblical commandments into two

1. Love for God

2. Love for fellow man

Beside that, as a man grows up, there certainly comes a day and time that when he leaves his father's house and  unites with a woman to start a family. This union is a reason of their love for each other.
Teenagers and adolescents get to a point in time when they are at the height of their emotions. And they begin to have strong feelings for the opposite sex. They call it love, experts call it infatuation.
I have never seen a man who said on his wedding day that he pledges to hate his wife for the rest of his life.
For better for worse, as they say, i will love you, cherish you and adore you above all other things.Yet i have witnessed many broken homes, i myself being a child who was raised in a broken home. I have seen pastors on their wives' throat and many men who have turned their wives into punching bags. My eyes have also seen many women who have sent their husbands to their early graves. I have seen many women who have pushed for divorce and demanded huge compensations from their husbands.
Love, they say is blind
it forgives
it is caring
it sees no wrong
it is not envious
it does not seek reason to condemn, but to praise

...................................................................................and the list continues.
By simple reason, where there is love, there is compassion, there is peace and there is harmony.
Our world as it stands today is saddled with hatred, envy, corruption, crime and all the negative things you think of. Families are fighting each other. husbands are at wives' throats and men have rebelled against God.
My question therefore is this:

WHERE DID OUR LOVE GO? OR IS IT THAT WE ARE DECEIVING OURSELVES WITH SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T REALLY EXIST?
I do not want to believe the latter to be true, but i leave you to judge.